Many Chinese women, especially those over 30, are probably asked a million times, 'Why are you still single?' They are also looking for an answer to the puzzling question, 'Why am I still single?'

許多中國女人，尤其是那些30歲以上的中國女人，可能經(jīng)常會被問到一個問題：“你為什么還單著？”而她們自己也在尋找這個令人困惑問題的答案：“為什么我還單著？”

Well, the answer is kind of easy. Either you don't like the people who like you or the people you like don't like you back. 

好吧，答案其實很簡單。要么就是你不喜歡喜歡你的人，要么就是你喜歡的人不喜歡你。

Now, look at these two problems, which one do you think is easier to solve?

那么現(xiàn)在看看這兩個問題，你認為哪一個更容易解決？

Well, we all know that you can't force someone to like you. So, the easier way is to change yourself. That is exactly what my mother always encourages me to do when choosing a partner.

我們都知道你不能強迫別人喜歡你，所以更簡單的方法就是改變自己。我母親在我挑選對象的時候也是鼓勵我這么做的。

'Marry someone who likes you more than you like him. That's the key to a happy marriage,' she said.

她對我說：“與其嫁個你喜歡的人，不如嫁個喜歡你的人。這才是婚姻幸福的關(guān)鍵?！?/span>

Is that so? I wonder. Well, it might be easier for single women in their early 20s to change when they are still trying to understand who they are and what they want. If a woman chooses to be single in her 30s, it means she probably prefers to stay single rather than settling down with someone who doesn't appreciate her.

真的是這樣嗎？我很懷疑！對那些剛剛20出頭的單身女人來說，改變或許很容易——她們還在試圖弄明白自己是誰、自己想要什么。而如果一個女人30歲了還是單身，那可能意味著與其和不喜歡的人將就，她寧愿單著。

'The girls of your generation are too picky nowadays,' my mother always says.

我母親總是對我說：“你們這一代的女孩子太挑了?！?/span>

My friend, 35-year-old Kay, is one of the picky 'three high women' - higher education, higher salary and physically higher than most women.

我的朋友小凱（35歲）就是一個這樣挑剔的“三高”女性——高學(xué)歷、高收入、高身高。

She is looking for someone who is, of course, higher than her in all those aspects. Some people have suggested that she lower her standards, but she said she has been waiting for so long that she might as well continue waiting.

她也在找對象，不過那個人當然得在所有方面都比她還要“高”才行。許多人都建議她降低標準，但是她卻說既然已經(jīng)單了這么久，（如果沒有合適的）還是繼續(xù)單下去吧。

Like Kay, many of my single friends said if the guy is not 'good enough,' they prefer to stay single. They know what kind of person they are looking for, and they are not willing to compromise. They have a higher education and financial independence so that they can avoid marrying someone they don't like.

和小凱一樣，我許多單身朋友都表示，如果男人沒那么好，她們寧愿單身。她們知道自己要找的是哪種人，她們不愿意在這方面妥協(xié)。她們學(xué)歷很高、經(jīng)濟也獨立，因此她們可以不嫁給一個自己不喜歡的人。

Another of my single friends, Yanyan, bought her first apartment five years ago. We all thought it was a bad idea for a single woman in her late 20s to buy an apartment because it would decrease her chances of finding a man.

我另一個單身朋友燕燕5年前買了自己第一套房。我們都認為奔三女人買房不是一個好主意，因為這樣她找對象的機會就更少了。

'If he feels threatened by me, then he shouldn't bother dating me,' she said.

她卻說道：“如果他覺得受到了我的威脅，他就不應(yīng)該和我談戀愛。”

Five years later, Yanyan is still single and rich.

5年過去了，燕燕還是單身、還是有錢。

I agree with her. It is easier to marry someone who has a house and a car than someone who loves you the way you are. Many married women complain that they are not happy with their husband. It's probably because they wanted his house and car but not him.

我同意她的意見。和嫁給一個喜歡原原本本的你的男人相比，嫁給一個有房有車的男人還要容易一些。許多已婚女性都抱怨和丈夫在一起并不快樂。這可能因為她們想要的只是丈夫的房子和車子，而不是他這個人。

If most women choose to stay single because they don't want to compromise, then here comes another question: 'How can I make him like me?'

如果大多數(shù)女人都因為不愿妥協(xié)而選擇單身，那么接下來另一個問題就是：“我怎么才能讓他喜歡我？”

Honestly, I don't know. If I did, I wouldn't still be single. But I do know the best thing you can do is to be more comfortable with yourself.

老實說，我也不知道。如果我知道，我就不會單身了。但是我知道，你最好是讓自己更自在一些。

You are not looking for your other half; you are a complete person.

你尋找的不是你的另一半，因為你本身就是一個完整的人！

So, if that person doesn't like the way you are, he is probably not worthy of you.

所以，如果那個人不喜歡你，他可能也就不值得你喜歡。